A breakup is painful to experience. In fact, it is not something you should wish for your enemy let alone a close friend. However, when it happens, you will have to move on.
While they are several causes of breakup in a relationship, lack of respect and proper communication are the commonest reasons people break up these days.
Well, you may want to argue about cheating, but they all bore down to lack of respect. After all, there is no way you can cheat on your partner if you respect him or her.
In this article, you will learn about the 11 terrible mistakes you should never make after a breakup. If you can avoid these mistakes, you are less likely to be in depression when your partner breaks up with you.
1. Contacting Your Ex Immediately After The Breakup
Trying to contact your ex immediately after a breakup is one of the terrible mistakes that you should never make. When your partner breaks up with you, try as much as possible to give space.
In fact, try not to reach out in the next 30 to 60 days. This will enable you to cope with the unnecessary feelings that come with it. But when you try contacting an ex immediately after a breakup, it is always very messy.
Sometimes, they make you feel so inconsequential that you feel like committing suicide. However, when you try to blank them out after the breakup, you tend to heal from the heartbreak easily.
2. Don’t Communicate With Your Ex More Than Necessary
Sometimes it is almost impossible to stop contacting your ex completely. Again, it depends on the circumstances surrounding the breakup.
If it becomes necessary to communicate with your ex, be very moderate about it. Otherwise, it may affect your new relationship, especially if your partner isn’t comfortable with it.
Constant communication with your ex is likely going to ignite the feelings you guys had before. This could be unhealthy especially if both of you are in new relationship.
Silence is still preferable during the early stage of the breakup. When it becomes necessary to reach out with your ex, be very brief, direct and formal.
3. Try As Much As Possible To Avoid Your Ex
One of the terrible mistakes people make after a breakup is not avoiding their ex. As a rule, try to avoid your ex in real world. Avoid going to places where you are likely to bump into your ex.
If you are in the same city with your ex, it is actually advisable to leave the city for sometimes. Take a short vacation, this will hasten your healing process.
However, if you finally bump into each other, try to be very nice, police and act formally. No hard feelings, don’t allow your emotions to make you look stupid.
4. Not Taking Good Care Of Yourself
Most people tend to neglect themselves during a breakup. Don’t do this, it is only a breakup and not the end of the world. Remember, they are several fishes in the River, all you need is to set your hook and line properly.
So, while going through a breakup, don’t forget to take good care of yourself. This is one of the terrible mistakes you should never make after a breakup. Try to take care of yourself mentally and physically.
Eat well, sleep well, get hydrated, do a little workout, more importantly, go out and have fun. Little things like this will invigorate you and make you recover quickly from the heartbreak.
5. Going Through Your Ex Social Media Is Not A Good Idea
Going through your Ex’s social media will only increase your pain. Going through their feed will only remind you of the memory you shared together.
So, it is advisable to stay away from their social media as you will only pick up some emotional wound by going through their feeds. Relationship experts always advice that you stay off social media in the first few days of a breakup. This will enable you to be stable mentally and emotionally.
However, if you can’t stay offline for a while, then unfriend or unfollow your friend on social media. This may be difficult, but its what you have to do.
6. Don’t Be A Close Friend To Your Ex
There is a dangerous trend going on in society now. You hear some ladies saying “He is my ex and we are just friend”.
Are you kidding me right now? How is it possible to be just friend to your ex? What happens to Okafor law? You can communicate casually with your ex, but it is a bad idea to befriend him.
It could affect your current relationship, especially if your new partner is a jealous type. Take your Ex as your past and move on with your life.
7. Don’t Allow Your Past Relationship To Define You
I wonder why some people will allow their past relationship to define them. Moving on is one of the best things you can do for yourself after a breakup.
You will agree with me that it is very frustrating and sometimes difficult to stop thinking about your ex. But as part of the recovering process, you need to identify who you are without your ex.
Never allow your experience in your past relationship define who you become. Work on your self-confidence and strive towards becoming a better you.
8. Don’t Start A New Relationship Immediately
It is foolhardy to start a new relationship immediately after a breakup. Most times, such a relationship doesn’t last. You are basically using your new partner as a rebound to get over your ex.
As a rule, give yourself some time to heal before you enter a new relationship. This will enable you to be more rational in your decision and make the right choice.
Let me resound it here that using a new relationship to distract yourself is a classic mistake you shouldn’t make at all. Things will always go sour.
9. Don’t Be Too Desperate To Win Back Your Ex
Desperation is never a solution to a broken relationship. In fact, it is always counterproductive. Sometimes, when your attempt to win back your ex is abortive, you tend to be depressed.
So, the best thing for you to do is to take things slowly and keep your fingers crossed. Don’t try to press too hard, just let him be and move on with your life.
10. Never Use Drugs Or Alcohol To Cope With Your Pain
The greatest deception is for you to think that using drugs or alcohol will help you cope with your breakup. This will only make things worse for you and turn you into an addict.
Even if using drugs and alcohol will only numb your sadness and pain for a while, it will not help in the long run.
11. Don’t Discuss Your Current Relationship With Your Ex
Irrespective of what you are going through in a relationship, your ex is not the right person to discuss it with. Take note of this, it is one of the most terrible mistakes you should never make after a breakup.